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My Dearest Brethren and Friends,
While most businesses fail within the first year, FraternalTies (est. 2009) is still around and going strong after four eventful years. We're still young and rough around the edges, but you have decided to stick around with us and rode with us through our ups and downs. Your continued and untiring patience and support is truly humbling. To return your kindness and generosity, we promise you these three things:
1. Email Response Time (edit: I have to revise this... With newborn twins, a toddler, and a teen, getting back within 72hrs is sometimes not realistic. However, the fastest way to get a direct response from me is via our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/FraternalTies.)
We promise to get back to you within 72hrs or less. If we fail, you will receive a 20% discount coupon.
2. Shipping and Handling Time (edit: i failed this)
We promise to ship you your order within 5 days or less. If we fail, we will reimburse you with 50% of the price of the item(s) that you have purchased.
3. Satisfaction Guarantee (edit: so far everyone's happy)
If you're not happy with your purchase, just return the unused product within 30 days of purchase and you will be reimbursed.
That's all for now.
Bro. John Paul Gomez
Doric Lodge No. 316